O-ver-ray-ted

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2001: A Space Odyssey

Visually stunning; but when the filmmakers intentionally include a meaningless storyline, the audience is left wanting. 

American Beauty

Hollywood thinks its so clever the way they depict the suburbs without having ever visited them to get a true sense of reality on the subject.

Brazil

I want to love this movie, even like it alot, but Terry Gilliam's version of 1984 never comes completely together.

Citizen Kane

It made its mark on cinematic history for sure, but try actually watching this again.

Crash

I don't need the likes of Hollywood telling me what or who is racist or not (and giving it a Best Picture Oscar?  Sheesh.).

The Dark Knight

Yes, Heath Ledger was awesome as the Joker, but otherwise the film was over-long, melancholy, and half-baked.

Forest Gump

Oscar nods for this silly look at recent American history?

Juno

Every character exuded zero emotion regardless of the situation as if detacted from reality, something like a stripper working over a client (come to think of it, wasn't this written by a stripper?).

Little Miss Sunshine

You seriously believed that kid - looking as she did and with that act - made it to the finals of a kiddie beauty pageant?

Lost in Translation

Could someone please wake me up when something even mildly interesting occurs?

Madagascar

Yes, the first part was humorous, but what exactly is the moral of your story when one lead character wants to eat the other?

Did Ya Ever Notice...?  When people have sex in the movies, they usually do it in bed and under the sheets.  I don't find this realistic.  I mean, how do they keep the sheets on?  Why don't they get tangled up in them like I do?  And if you're doing it right, why would you want them on afterwards?  Shouldn't you be too hot to want to be covered?  The sheet covering the guy at the waist and the girl at the chest is now so common it's become cliche, but how'd it ever get started in the first place?

Memento

Yeah, it's a story told backwards, but do you want a gimmick or an interesting story?

Million Dollar Baby

A weak Rocky takeoff that turns completely ridiculous in the final, agonizingly bad act.

No Country for Old Men

Javier Bardem's character aside, the plot is preposterious and the ending belabored.

Pulp Fiction

Love the dialogue all you want (and remember Tarantino shared his screenwriting Oscar with co-writer Roger Avary), this - like most of Tarantino's work - is ripped off from other films and poorly directed to boot.

Saving Private Ryan

Once they take the beach, this devolves into every other World War II film that came before it - loaded with charactures and melodrama.

Slumdog Millionaire

Hollywood's suck-up to its foreign sister Bollywood is ridiculously forgetful.

Star Wars

Scrape away the nostalgia, and you're left with a wooden, underwhelming, D-grade sci-fi story.

The Wrestler

Take out Mickey Rourke's performance (which I don't believe was really "acting," but the way he is in real life) and the viewer's left with a completely hackneyed film.

Traffic

Thanks for stereotyping three major aspects of the illegal drug trade, and oh, way to hammer the point home with the three drastically and irritating color filters.